Behind the Curtain of Distraction

EPISODE 212: Forks up.

If you’re not familiar with the Curtain of Distraction, the subject of today’s show, you should first understand that it is an actual curtain.

It’s black, about 6.5-feet tall and 8-feet wide, and it hangs from a frame of yellow PVC pipe that gets wheeled out from the student section in the second half of every Arizona State men’s basketball game.

Right behind the hoop.

Right in the shooter’s line of vision.

And it terrorizes every opponent who dares set foot on the foul line.

Since 2013, when the Curtain first opened, the list of people popping out from behind it have included, but are by no means limited to:

• A topless student smearing mayo on his nipples with a spoon

• An angry old lady

• Thanos

• A very large bearded kid with a wrecking ball

• The actual Michael Phelps doing a speedo-striptease, while wearing fake gold medals and a Chippendales bowtie

And it reminds me, every March, that I absolutely did not have the Arizona State college experience. Not even vaguely close.

I’ve never had anyone tell me “Forks Up! Go Devils!” And I’ve never experienced the Sun Devils’ student section. Let alone their infamous Curtain.

But this season, the students and the associate athletic director (!) behind the best innovation in college hoops agreed to give Pablo Torre Finds Out the unprecedented and, until today, secret honor of joining college basketball’s foremost writer’s room.

Which led me to assemble a Hollywood writers’ room of our own.

I am proud of the difference our team made.

YOUTUBE SPOILER ALERT:

Go Devils,

Pablo