Count the Rings

EPISODE 305: Milksnakes.

In our ongoing quest to report what the hell is happening inside the University of North Carolina’s football program — a tragicomedy led by history’s greatest gridiron genius, Bill Belichick — I try to treat the subjects of our stories like grown-ups in charge of a bizarre, taxpayer-funded experiment.

The focus of our previous two investigations, obviously, has been Belichick’s girlfriend and “creative muse,” Jordon Hudson. Whose power now is so vast that she runs Belichick’s production company; works as his manager and publicist; inserted herself into a Super Bowl commercial; triggered three disasters caught on tape (by CBS Sunday Morning, a Ring camera, and an NFL Films control room); got cc’d on all of Belichick’s Carolina work e-mails (for a time); and lectured a roomful of producers on the basis of having designed BillBelichickk.com.

But as we told you in our last episode, Hudson isn’t the only strategist inside Belichick’s paranoid inner circle. There is also the person who told multiple people that she was banned from the football building, earlier this spring:

Michael Lombardi.

Who is to Belichick’s football life what Hudson is to Belichick’s personal life.

And who, like Jordon Hudson, loves spinning reporters; is a self-styled brand expert; and has approximately one real buyer in the market for their services:

Bill Belichick.

YOUTUBE SPOILER ALERT:

Sandwiches,

Pablo