The Pop-Tarts Mascot, Unmasked

EPISODE 54: An unexpectedly arousing Share & Tell.

I presume you’ve seen the first subject of today’s Share & Tell investigation.

Or, at least, what they were wearing:

It’s a testament to the sport of college football that this season’s biggest Internet sensation wound up being a spin-moving corporate bowl game mascot. Who would go on to be eaten — happily — by the victorious Kansas State Wildcats:

But what I — and many PTFO listeners, it turns out — immediately wanted to know was simple: Who was inside the Pop-Tart?

Who in the world does this specific job?

Pop-Tarts PR, despite repeated requests, would not tell us. Legal agreements prevented the Pop-Tart itself from doing any media interviews. And there were no visible clues (or so we thought). It was a legitimately frustrating mystery.

Until today.

Thanks to the debut of PTFO correspondent Sarah Spain, we publicly reveal the identity of the person inside the Pop-Tart. We also find out, thanks to the journalism of Charlotte Wilder, why so many of America’s women are drinking out of a Stanley cup. (Not that one.) And then we explore the decline of the Best Friend (and rise of the accountability partner/pornography monitor).

DKN/YOUTUBE SPOILER ALERT:

Hormonally,

Pablo